I'm sure you've all been there. You have a friend, you're both not getting laid, so you think "hey, let's sleep together! we're friends and we can just keep it that way!"
Yea, and how many of those times actually worked out? I'm gonna go with a big fat ZERO.
I'm realizes how many stories involve this notion of fuck buddies. The problem I see with it is that everyone has their own opinion or viewpoint of how those types of relationships are suppose to be.
NO! Everyone can't have their own ideas or rules because then no one knows how to follow those rules or guidelines, and they need to be there so things don't get all crazy and anarchy-ish. All relationships have some type of guidelines to follow, boundaries or lines you're not suppose to cross. Like... don't cheat on your significant other, don't beat them, bros before hos, chicks before dicks, blah blah blah... so what makes people think that fuck buddies don't need to follow those same guidelines?
So I've made it easy. I've come up with a few suggestions of guidelines/rules that all fuck buddy relationships need in order for the parties involved to not get all crazy or to not get hurt. And please, add more if you can think of them! (no fucking stupid suggestions though, don't be a fucking twat.)
Guidelines/Rules for Fuck Buddy Relationships
- No Sleeping With More Than One Fuck Buddy- I know, but think about it. You need to be safe. If you or your FB aren't always wearing protection and sleep with some nasty person, you run the risk of diseases/infections. So only sleep with one person at a time! And be honest if you want to sleep with someone else... but if your FB then says they won't sleep with you, respect that. Plus, you might call out the wrong name (just saying).
- Make Sure Both Parties Know It Is a Fuck Buddy Relationship- talk to the other person involved. If you just sleep with them without the intention of dating them, but they don't realize that, you're in for a whole lot of stupid emotional bullshit (and I'm not just talking about the girls... guys, you can get all crazy too).
- Don't Act Like The Other Person Doesn't Exist Outside The Bedroom- If you are friends, then be friends! There is no reason that if you see them at the bar that you have to ignore them, that just makes shit awkward. Everyone wants attention, so don't ignore them. Then people start to talk, and then gossip happens, and then people cry (because people are little whiny bitches).
- Don't Act Like The Other Person Is Your Significant Other- If you are friends, then you are JUST friends. In this type of relationship if the other party involved flirts with someone else or talks to someone else; that's okay! You're not dating, you're not in a romantic relationship. Just as long as they don't break #1; let them do their damn thing. (You're just getting your rocks off, right?).
- Be Honest About Emotions- One of the most important rules. If, for some chance, you happen to develop feelings for someone else, or for your FB, LET THEM KNOW ASAP! Hiding those types of things just cause even bigger problems down the road. I know, you don't want to ruin a good thing, but it's better to be honest about how you feel. No one wants you to one day, down the road, get all mad because you think they looked at you funny so you start a fight for no reason but it's all because you're "in love". Also, stringing along your FB while you're trying to be with someone else is just one of the most dicks moves you could make. (So don't be a dick).
- Is This An Open or Closed FB Relationship- Meaning, do people know? If you want to keep this on the DL, make sure you and the other person are in agreement. Sure, there are some FBs that everyone knows that they just sleep together. Then there are some that even their best friends don't know who they are sleeping with. Make sure you get that squared away. (Don't spill the beans!)
- Buddies First- Remember, you're buddies, you're pals, you might even actually be friends! You're sleeping with someone who you're supposed to be comfortable around. So be friends and talk like you normally do. If all you're relationship is, is them calling you, you coming over, fucking, then leaving... so be it. If you come over for a movie then sleep together, then spend the night, good for you. You're buddies; don't forget that. (basically saying, don't treat them like a common hooker).
- No Romance- This is a big one. NO ROMANCE! This is not a romantic relationship, so don't try to make it one. Romance is too closely tied to love, even though it doesn't mean love, it comes across that way. Romance brings about emotions which bring about problems in the whole FB system. You're suppose to be romantic with someone you want to actually be involved with, and if you want romance with you're FB then look back at rule #5. (naughty outfits or candles are fine... but no candlelit dinners or eating the same spaghetti.)
- No Comparisons- No one likes to be compared to someone else. Even if they are your friend, don't even compare them to an ex or another FB you had. It's just rude. Plus, you're with someone new; it's a new body and new ways to get use to. Try new things! You're comfortable with this person, right? So be adventurous; but remember, they are not the last person you slept with (so stop talking about your stupid ex!).
- The Ending- If you're FB relationship comes to an end, there is an etiquette that one should follow. Don't joke about your fuck buddy relationship in front of your old fuck buddy if your new fuck buddy is around. Also, only joke about your old fuck buddy relationship if it's okay with the other person. Don't spread nasty lies or talk about size with other. Another thing, it is really hard to restart an old FB relationship once it's been terminated. It just is never the same (like when you go back to the beach and it's never like it was last summer).
If you follow all these guidelines, I think you can have a successful fuck buddy relationship and if it happens to end, it shouldn't end so badly. I know there is never a way to not have some type of feelings for someone you are physically involved with... but these guidelines might help you to determine whether it is just a fond affection for your buddy, or if it's actually a romantic entanglement.
